Dear Lindsey,
From Chapter One of
Letters to Lindsey: Seeing Your Child’s Autism Diagnosis Through a Gospel Lens
by Larah Roberts
I got your text.
“We got the diagnosis. It’s autism.”
I stopped. I sat down on the couch. I prayed. Tears welled up in my eyes. I looked up at Collin and let all the air out of my lungs with a big sigh.
I wished with everything in me that I could fly to you at that moment and bear hug you. Not because I’m sorry about the diagnosis, but because I know the days ahead will bring challenges you may or may not feel equipped for… yet.
But Lindsey,
you love and follow Jesus.
And that changes everything.
If we lived closer, we’d sit down for coffee, tea, soda, or that liquid stuff the young people love called pho... but whatever your heart loves most, we’d share it over an honest and real conversation.
Since that unfortunately isn’t an option, I thought, “What’s the next best thing to being together?” A collection of old-fashioned snail-mail letters came to mind. Who doesn’t love to receive a letter in the mail? I mean, except those pesky ones that tell us they need money, vote for this person, or remind us our grass grew 0.34 inches too high according to the neighborhood regulations!
I thought about handwriting these letters, but sister, my handwriting has taken a turn for the worse over the years, so instead of you deciphering my chicken scratch, I’ll deliver them typed out.
Ok, you’ve known me for a while—some things haven’t changed. I still don’t like sushi, that scar is still there on my arm from that violent game of spoons, and what you see (or read) is what you get. I’m going to shoot it straight, no sugarcoating, because we’re in this together.
What you are about to read in the next several letters is me pouring my heart out because I love you. I wish someone had told me these things after Graham’s diagnosis, and most importantly, reminded me that there is gospel hope on the autism road.
I’ve had many conversations with moms who have just received their child’s autism diagnosis. They sit across from me, the weight of the news settling on their shoulders. The air is thick with emotion—uncertainty, fear, even grief.
They expect my first response to be words of comfort, perhaps a reassuring pat on the hand or an “I’m so sorry this has happened.”
But I don’t say any of those.
Instead, I ask a question.
This one question helps me identify and understand the foundation she’s standing on in that moment. Because you will come to understand that how you answer this foundational question reveals whether the next step you take on this journey is steady and stable—or shaky and scary.
Lindsey, I’ll begin by asking you that one question:
Have you been overcome by the gospel?
At first, this question may seem unexpected—maybe even insensitive. You might be thinking, “Shouldn’t she first offer empathy, acknowledge the emotions I’m feeling?” Rest assured, I care deeply about your feelings, your struggles, and your fears.
But here’s the truth, friend:
If you haven’t been overcome by the gospel, the weight of receiving this diagnosis will feel impossible to bear, and the empathy I offer will eventually fade.
But the gospel of Jesus Christ… it will never fade. It is GOOD news.
WHY THIS QUESTION?
Autism itself is not the enemy. It’s not a tragedy. It’s not something to be afraid of. But there are real struggles that come with it—grief, exhaustion, uncertainty, a future that looks different than what you imagined.
Lindsey, if your foundation is not anchored in the work of Christ and who God is, those waves of uncertainty will come, and they will cripple you with fear.
When I ask, “Have you been overcome by the gospel?” I am asking:
Do you know, deep in your bones, what Christ has done for you?
Have you been wrecked by the reality that you were once dead in sin, and then are you moved to rejoice in the truth of “but God, in His mercy, made you alive in Christ” (Eph. 2:4–5)?
Are you living out of gratitude for the grace that has been freely given to you?
If you have, then you can process these truths on a steady and stable foundation:
Your child’s autism diagnosis is not a mistake.
Your child is not broken.
God did not forget to include them or you in His plan.
He is sovereign (in control) over your child’s neurology, biology, and personality, just as He is sovereign over your eternal salvation.
THE GOSPEL IS THE FOUNDATION FOR THIS JOURNEY
Lindsey, depending on your child’s uniqueness, you very well may find yourself thrown into a world of therapies, interventions, and societal misunderstandings.
If the gospel isn’t your foundation, you’ll end up placing your hope in progress, in therapies, or in a version of your child that feels more socially acceptable.
But the gospel tells a different story.
“In order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” —Romans 8:4
Christ didn’t just save us from sin; He saved us for something.
A life of holiness.
A life surrendered to God’s purposes.
A life that trusts that if God did not withhold His own Son from us, how will He not also graciously give us all things according to His will (Rom. 8:32)?
This means autism is not an obstacle to God’s plan—it is God’s plan.
(that sentence my rock you at first, it may even make you want to stop reading because you disagree… friend, we’re going to disagree on things theologically and about autism, but I hope we can agree on one thing: the Gospel of Jesus changes everything.)
Your child’s autism diagnosis is the means, the mechanism, the trial through which He will sanctify, shape, and sustain both you and your child.
The God of the universe does not author bad stories; rather, He writes them for His glory and our good.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PARENT IS OVERCOME BY THE GOSPEL?
When the gospel takes root in a parent’s heart, it doesn’t remain abstract truth—it becomes lived reality.
The diagnosis, the daily trials, and even the deepest fears are reframed through the lens of God’s unshakable promises.
And that shift changes everything about how you see your child and your calling as their parent.
The gospel reshapes how a parent sees their child.
They are freed from the pressure to measure success by the world’s standards.
They begin to understand that their greatest calling is not to fix or change their child, but to disciple them—to raise them to know and love God forever.
And, perhaps most importantly, they do not parent from fear but from faith but faith in who God is and what He has done.
When a parent is overcome by the gospel, the weight of trials and the news of a diagnosis draws them to worship God.
Because worship leads to surrender, and surrender is the place where we fully abandon our finiteness and frailty into the hands of an infinitely good and gracious God.
The place where true peace is found, is in His presence.
THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILD
Lindsey, I’m not going to lie, the first years after a diagnosis are going to feel overwhelming.
But here’s the truth:
No therapy, no strategy, no accommodation, no special education plan (IEP) will ever be as crucial to your child’s well-being as a parent who has been overcome by and fully surrendered to the gospel.
Because when you are rooted in Christ, your firm foundation, you won’t parent from exhaustion or fear—but from grace.
And the grace that has been freely given is the grace that is freely received.
You will not view your child, the image bearer of God, as a project, but as a person.
You will not let fear write your story, because you know the Author—and He is good.
So, before we talk about what autism is and all that it brings along with it, I need to ask again:
Lindsey, have you been overcome by the gospel?
Because it’s through that gospel lens that we will see the autism diagnosis moving forward.
For God’s glory and our good.
💌 Read the Full Book
This letter is the first chapter of my book:
Letters to Lindsey: Seeing Your Child’s Autism Diagnosis Through a Gospel Lens
👉 Order your copy on Amazon here.
Perfect for:
Parents navigating the early stages of a diagnosis
Small groups or Bible studies
Church leaders supporting families
Let’s walk this road together—with the gospel as our lens.